Dear Kate,

You are the pure one. When your father touched you, at the tender age of 11, he did not taint you. He tainted himself. It is he, who became impure, not you. You responded admirably, to his misconduct, to his betrayal, by exposing him. When the rapist’s words, created repugnant imagery in your mind, you were appropriately revolted.

There is nothing wrong with you! You are a sensitive young woman, whose sex drive has been dampened by the misdeeds of two men. It is not surprising, you are not fantasying about men, or masturbating. Without fantasy, there is no masturbation.

Exploring your sexuality with women, may be a logical outcome of your experience. Many women do it, regardless of their experience with men. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with it. However, I encourage you, not to forever close the door on men, due to the misconduct of two men. Ultimately, who you share your affections with is your choice. I encourage you, not to allow others to make the choice for you.

In the short term, it would probably be best, not to confront your sexuality directly, i.e., not without the assistance of a competent counselor. I would avoid any environment, where there may be sexual pressure. However, I would not hesitate to socialize, and develop friendships. Ultimately, you will meet an honorable young man, or honorable young woman, who you feel comfortable with, and your sexual desire will return.

I haven’t said much, regarding the importance of counseling by a competent professional. There really isn’t much to say, other than, it is probably the single, most effective action, you can engage in, to improve the quality of your life.

I wish you the best,

Larry