You know Shadow, I really do relate to that. ANGER is SO< SO< SCARY.

I look back years before I ever dreamed I was DID and I can see how I used to check out when angry. I called it amnesia. When I got in an argument with anyone suddenly I could not remember. I would know there was a problem and then boom, blank-ville! I HATE that.

BUT, at least I know there is some progress because now I can remember fights and not just go blank. They just scare the blankety blank out of me and all, but I don't just go away.

Sometimes though, it's like I don't have all the tools the other grown up people have - I feel disadvantaged in battle. grrr!

Being DID was great when I was a kid, but the more adult my life got the worse being split got for me. It just doesn't do what all the grownup needs for us to do. being grown up bites. sigh...

Leah Pixie (pixie with the Attitudes)