I'm so sorry ((((((((((((Shadow)))))))))
I can understand your desire to tell him. It seems after 17 years, he would be safe. I'm sorry it wasn't safe to tell. Here, my kids already knew. They just didn't know what it was called. They actually found out what was going on with me before I really knew and accepted it. Knowing validated them because it explained so much for them. Maybe once your husband has time to accept, he will feel the same? It made so much sense when we found out what was going on here. I wish the same for you in time. Hang in there, it can get better.