on friday, i lied........... i lied to my doctor, and now im regrating it.
for the last , god knows how many weeks , i have ben struggling with real life, finding that the internet was a far safer place for me...untill even that became to much..

then on friday, i had an apointment with her... its an apointment to get a sick note for benifits.

so when she asked how i was doing, i lied to her, and said. "everything good"....... man im an idiot... now she thinks im stable.... which isnt to bad, but if im seen to be stable for a period of time she will bem me fit to rejoin the real world again.......... and that scares the hell out of me....
now i dont know what to do......... if i go back and tell her what has really been going on in my head, i may end up in hospital, or she may even see it as me lieing to continue claiming benifits......... i wish the real world wasnt so complicated.