I've been told by friends that my parents are overly strict. My sister lives on welfare, my brother lives with his manipulative gf. My mother has always been really tough. She's not into the whole lovey dovey stuff. She likes straight facts. We're not very close. I can't be myself around her. I'm very romantic and she hates that kind of stuff. She's 59 by theway. When I was a kid, I felt like I was walking on eggshells around her, and I still feel that way. When I'm in the house with her I feel like she is judging my every move. I could be sitting and jsut watching tv, and she won't like the program I'm wathcing. She's very strict catholic. oh and I'm 19. I can't talk to her about sex. She doesn't like my friends, and all my friends ahve jobs, don't drink, don't do drugs, are going to college...and she always tells me to get new friends. she always would tell me that I needed to lose weight when I was a kid. I was on the chubby side but I hadlow self esteem. I lost a lot of weight when i was in grade eight. I always ahd crushes on my male teachers. She wouild dress me like a boy and wouldn't letme choose my own clothes...so i felt very unfeminine. everytime I come home if I'm wearing a shirt that shows a little cleavage...she's always staring and then makes a comment like, change your shirt, your things are hanging out. my bf couldn't even see my figure when he first met me becuase my clothes were so conservative. My parents would kill me if they found out I was not oging to church at the moment., she would kill me if I watched 18 A movies....Everytime I try to bake something, she takes over and treats me like a child. When I was I think 10 or eleven, we got in a fight and she had told me that she had diabes when she was pregnant with me, and that she had to prick her thumb a few times each day to check her blood sugar just for me, and that I should be happy that she did that for me. To make me feel guilty. I remember her telling me when I was young when I was lieing in bed with her that she wanted to die. I also remember lieing in bed and hearing a conversation between my parents and my dad had said "we won't get rid of Nicole" one thing to add is that I've enver been a bad kid, never got into trouble, got good grades I'm now in college. Now I feel I can't get respect from people, or be close with anyone. I feel lost...I care for my parents, but I don't feel love, or a warm fuzzy feelings for them. I repect them because they are my parents