Hi Everybody. I have been out of rehab for four days now and have been SI free for eight days. It has been really hard though as I am still having urges and it is getting difficult not to act on them. I think the main reason I'm not SI-ing is that I don't want to disappoint those around me--especially my therapist and doctor. They have been very patient and are working hard with me to overcome SI. I know that I need to do it for myself, but I'm not really at that point. My fear is that if (or most likely when) I give in is that I will do so in a manner that is out of control with many regrets. This is not as a retaliatory action, but rather because of the abstinence and that once I make that first cut I will feel like a failure for having relapsed and letting others down. Anybody have any ideas about this or experienced something similar? Suggestions? Thanks for "listening".