Everyone thinks I'm better. It's hard for me to say how depressed I am,
because of the backlash I get at home,and I feel like burden and bring ppl down,that I just waste their time with my feelings.
When I did express it, it was ok for awhile, then people didn't understand why I still felt the same. My family started complaining/joking about how I was crazy telling me to "get over""I'm not normal",I lost my friends..telling me "I'm a blackhole that sucks up everything""emo" etc....

I finally managed to mentioned something to the psych I have now who said "Well you should be doing better,I don't understand we went up on your meds.you function fairly well. I don't think it's your depression you're just bored" I don't mention i want to kill myself,or I feel like nothings real,or how I'm the cause of disasters,flashbacks and lots of other things.Even when I had the chance..no words came out.

I talked to a friend recently who said "depression really is only in people's minds; in your case, you could recover only when you let yourself do so,and it's not hard"
No one understands I give my all,I try to give my self positive talk and rise above it but joy disappears,things I love..and even new things I try..make me feel empty,the bright and good I recognize but don't feel. Like a funny joke,or music..they made me feel something..now all I do is cry when I see or hear them.