i understand what you feel TRM.. its important now not to let yourself beat yourself up about guilt feelings for things you feel bad for... the bad feelings result from judging yourself as a bad character... the idea that you're a bad character is an illusion.. what you've done is react to something using the knowledge and skills you have now... since we are always growing we can forgive ourselves some mistakes... some mistakes are more costly as you are no doubt aware... if we keep our heart and aim true to care for ourselves as much as others, we can help ourselves best...

heres hoping you feel, live and learn in the way that gives peace to your inner you... he matters too...