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earthmama said:
I have hurt my back, so I am feeling helpless and vulnerable, and that makes me feel scared and angry....

as I was walking in, they were walking out. of his door. It made me feel really self-conscious - like here I am, the crazy person!

I sat down and just didn't feel like myself. I just felt totally down on myself, felt like he didn't want me to be there, felt like I was wasting his time.

I went and sat in his chair and he laid down on the couch. Suddenly everything kind of shifted.

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Hi EM, the first 3 paragraphs up there explain what you were feeling ^. I guess you didn't feel comfortable having these feelings though? I remember having uncomfortable feelings that were very difficult to deal with. I basically had to learn that it is okay to have feelings and that I can own them. I think not being able to own your feelings is what causes the dissociation? Those darn upbringings that don't allow us to have our feelings.....

When you switched chairs with T do you think that you started to feel better because you were then in the "power" position? Being in control certainly helps. I had to learn all about this in order to get better. When we were growing up nothing was in control in our families and this caused insecurity and the belief that we cannot take control of ourselves or our lives. Feeling in control of yourself (which has a lot to do with feelings) and your life is vital for mental health. I guess I don't mean that a person is really in control of their feelings because feelings happen and you certainly can't control them! I guess before you get better, the feelings feel really out of control and this doesn't feel good at all. As you get better and learn to recognize your feelings and feel that it is okay to have feelings, etc. then you don't feel out of control.