jbug
What I understand about ths is that its about abandonment. And all of us with self disorders have that as an underlying issue.
We werent given the secure support to separate from our other with a sound and solid feeling of love and support, to go, to take with us, (internalise), so when we get thes important relationships, it takes us back emotionally to about 1 1/2 years old, the time when we should have been getting support and love for exploring and separating and going back, to emotionally 'refuel' then exploring and separating again.
So, if your person, is in fact genuine and not liable to behave unreliably, and if he is supportive to your growth, ...........well, I'm kind of experiencing similar stuff at present, but just managing to scrape through by understanding what it is that is happening to me, and trusting my other, so then i can manage myself through it. But I believe that the other really does have to be trustworthy in reality, for us to be able to grow through these experiences, and get restarted where we got derailed before.

......? that makes some sense??

river