No one believed me when I said that I can feel through people.
I don't know how to explain it, it's really hard to find words to say it but it is very close to reading people's hearts... I feel it when they like me and I feel it when they hate me, I can tell if they were just done talking about me behind my back... Without any explanation that I can understand, I just feel it.
This summer, I made some personnel changes in my life, changes that my husband's family didn't like as getting a job is one of them.
For the last few months I've been feeling so much hatred from their side. Never have I been so sure about it as I was this time.
I knew that they hid a lot of bad things behind their smiles, they never treated me differently from the usual though but I just sensed their hatred and smelled that nasty gossip but never witnessed any.
I told my husband who received my fear of being hated and stabbed in the back, by sarcasm, fights, judgments and he accused me of being literally crazy and evil. I tried to believe him but I couldn't.
Time passed and I was still lost, trying to kick that feeling out of myself and trying to block this negative energy that consumed me every time we got in a family gathering. Until this morning...
One of them called me and started by apologizing and told me that she has been starring at some old pictures and realized how much she loved me. She begged me to forgive her but never said why, but I told her that I forgive her for talking about me behind my back, that I know who cares for me and who doesn't. Telling her what each one of them might have said about me shocked her to the extent that she was sure that someone called me to tell me this ugly truth.
No one told me, I just knew. I don't know how but I just did.
I felt great to know that I was right, that I am not crazy and that I am not evil, it was all happening for real.
I felt victory when she called, when i knew the truth, although, somehow I never wanted to know the truth about this family that I am part of... Now I don't know whether this is a gift, or a curse...