It is always a gift if it is used without any self centered motives. I am not in any way. shape or form insinuating that the paradox you are suffering is a result of ego.
I am familiar with gifts and they can haunt you if the "power" they prescribe turns inward for any form of gain.
IMHO.
Lenny
__________________
I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them....
Sobriety date...Halloween 1989.
I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one...
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