What stands out as something you've learned about yourself in therapy that is a surprise to you? Do you keep coming back to it, as it reveals itself over and over?

For me it was seeing how much I want to attach to someone, or to everyone actually. It explains why I tend to have one or two close friends at a time. I thought it was all I could handle. But the truth is that without someone to attach to, I don't exist. I attach so they can define me and then I know how to be then. It also explains the intensity of the relationship(s) and the huge fear of abandonment: to lose them is to lose me.

I've known that I have trouble being 'myself' but I didn't realize I can feel abandoned when I do that. When I am myself, however briefly, I am no longer the person the other defines so it feels like an abandonment.

It's why I have had such trouble talking in therapy. No way was she going to define me even though I would probably welcome it, so I would know 'how to be'. I feel like I'm on my own (abandoned?) yet the truth is I'm free to be me.
That sounds so easy...