i don't like taking the meds either... but i do... or i try to remember too before things get to the place of no return... when i tried to explain how i was feeling my t had me look at things a bit differently... i am not sure i am convinced, but have to admit he did make a point... he asked me how i feel now compared to after i cut... he was talking about how i feel sitting in his office... he isn't easy on me when i cut and makes me show him... and wont let me get away with not talking... i hate that and feel really exposed...guilty... which i didn't feel sitting talking to him about taking the xanax...lyn