Thanks, think my therapist fairly good at this, it knew to me trying work thru it way we doing, but she def pacing me as has asked me not to communicate with little me but just to write her reassuring letters so think she aware that it all so close to surface could end up flooding me, just makes daily living so jolly hard.

Have 3 kids, 2 are babies and 1 is 7going on 17. My husband whilst willing to take over kids wen he gets home so i can crawl into bed, he just totally not on this wavelength and sort of expects other people to help me rather than feel he has any responsibility in supporting me he just adds to stress by being an idiot.

On way on holiday to cottage in wales he stropped of cos we were having row, he got train ho,me and left me to deal with kids and find place. that triggered lots panic attacks etc as cant cope with being new places and not knowing where am, sort of feel trapped with no escape route, so prob something from past.

Just hope can do more of body memory stuff and little me stuff as that seem where intense emotion is and it need to come out as so draining keeping it in.