Hi Gottham, please don't be too down on yourself. Getting better is a progression not a switch that you turn off or on. You said that you had a rough day that got you to that point. What happened?

Why all the guilt and shame? Because everyone is telling you that SI is wrong? Our feelings are useful and meant to be dealt with. People who SI haven't learned how to process or work with their feelings. I know that you are only SI ing because it gives you relief. You are only trying to cope here. Is your plan to move forward and learn how to process your feelings so that you don't have to SI?