But I am TICKED OFF TO THE MAX!

I CAN'T TAKE THIS. Everytime I get an entire post typed out I manage to erase it by accident. Am I THAT challenged!!!!!!!

I tried to mow the grass, but the mower only runs it over instead of cutting it. It took me a good 30 minutes to figure out that I was wasting my freaking time out there.

Then, I rent a steamer.. clean the carpets... go BACK to rent the upholstery attachment for the sofas... BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW THE HELL TO ATTACH IT! So ... this is a 2mg xanax moment and even the freakin' pills aren't calming me down. I NEED A QUALUDE THE SIZE OF A HORSES ***!

Is this my life? I can't accomplish anything without a man? Isn't there a way to RENT an affordable man just to hook up this and that and show me how the hell to fix the rider mower so it actually cuts! I don't mean - make a phone call to a handy man and hope one shows up in a week.. I mean NOW! I'm wasting my day as usual.

I did go to the gym but I am so beside myself that I'm having such a hard time losing weight that 1/2 way through I said "screw it" and told my trainer to take the rest of the session off cause I was going home to sulk about it. I lost 100 lbs but can't lose another ounce. My diet is spot on... I exercise at least 2 hours a day... and instead of losing, I gained 10 lbs in 3 days. Sure call me a bullsh*tter..... doctors do.... nurses laugh at me and tell me my scale is wrong or I don't know how to read - but this is what's been happening to me. I start to see a light at the end of the tunnel.. then WHAM.. 10 lbs on. I'm just so frustrated.

Instead of sulking, I made a plan to accomplish OTHER things... which as you now know, never came to fruition.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS! HELPLESS, USELESS, WORTHLESS and unable to accomplish even the most simple tasks.

I wish I was born a mentally stable man. Of course I'd end up being homosexual, but tools wouldn't be a foreign object.

I'm just so tired of being alone all the time.

Rant over......
Forgive me for going off the deep end....... I just can't take it anymore and I was hoping it would make me feel better to ****** about it.

Boy.. T isn't going to like me tomorrow.. if I even decide to go. He probably dreads my visits.

L