That's a great question....here's my answer....

I most definitely felt trapped in my marriage. It's a horrible feeling whether or not it's real or perceived. In my situation the feeling of being trapped involved years of emotional (as well as physical & verbal) abuse that helped me to feel like I was absolutely nothing. In essence I felt like I was less than pond scum. When one feels that low about themselves, it's very difficult to make any kind of forward movement to free oneself of the marriage.

As far as how valid my perception was....it was very valid, at the time. It stopped me from making forward moves as well as other factors like children, bills, lack of money to support myself and children should we have left.

As far as how valid my perception is at this time, looking back it was skewed like crazy. Having allowed a spouse to systematically attack me and help to create a horrible relationship and situation could have been avoided much earlier in the relationship and hopefully I would not have suffered as much as I did had I looked at things logically.

I did get out of the marriage. The abuser finally put himself in the position of being arrested for assault. I finally took what little control I could by having the police called during a physical altercation. Marks were seen on my body that proved what I was saying was true. From that point, I never looked back. It was hard as hell, I will not deny it. But I finally opened my eyes and realized that nothing could be worse than what I had been dealing with for 12 years with this individual.

Is that to say that everyone else's situations are as mine? Oh heck no......but what I find is that sooner or later a person must get their heart and brain working in unison (at least to a point) in order to do what needs to be done....whatever that may be.


sabby