I know exactly how you are feeling. I feel safe to some degree. I don't feel safe to be 100% open for fear T will think I am really nuts and refer me. So being safe is letting T see what you are thinking and feeling. When I first started seeing T 11 months ago I thought of her as a equal and now I see her on a pedastool and I think it is easier sometimes to feel safe when you first meet someone because if they laugh or say thats stupid you can just leave with no emotion because you aren't attached and you can say screw him/her but with T I grown to care what she thinks and therefore it makes it harder to feel safe. I hope that makes some sense.