It is controversial what the poohbah forum is for (that is partly why I got rid of my old account - I'd much prefer to bypass the whole 'i've posted more than you have' situation)...

I think there is a speel when we sign up that warns us about how anonymity is limited on the internet and on how there are steps we can take to assist our retaining our anonymity (such as our refraining from posting identifying information about where we live, our name etc etc etc).

there have been cases where posts to message boards have been used as evidence in a court of law (for custody battles in particular). they can be used, yes. i guess the judge could ask you if you posted those posts. i'm not sure if you can plead the fifth at that point... getting your account deleted might help (but not if the judge asks you about those particular posts). it would make it harder for people to search your posting name and collate posts for court...

i'm sorry this has happened to you....

(you might want to be careful about digging yourself in still further now)