I told T that once.. that I needed a qualude the size of a horse's ***. He then proceeded to tell me what a qualude is. Um.. EXCUSE me.... I grew up in the 70's when we believed in better iiving through chemistry. I know FULL well what a qualude is and I WANT A BIG ONE!

It wasn't taking on too much at all..... these are normal activities for someone who can get the mower to work, the steam cleaner to work, and who's not overworking at the gym.

I think that's what's driving my depression the most. It's the fact that no matter what I do I can't dump this weight. Yesterday I resorted to an old behavior (which has my throat sore today). Not that it does my body any good at all, but I feel better after I expel everything I ate. All I know is that this coffee is GRAND this morning.. nice and hot on my throat.

I DID finally get the rugs steamed and all of the upholstery cleaned, and about 2 acres mowed, but by the time all was said and done, Home Depot was closed and I couldn't get paintl All of my window treatments are washed and in the closet, ready to be put back up after I figure out what I want to do with the walls. They don't need it, but I need it.

I gotta take the ex hub to drop his car off at the mechanic, go to see T... then I'm gonna work my *** off at the gym! I HAVE to.. it makes sense.. calories in/calories out but even my trainer is telling me I'm overworking.

I have an addictive personality... doesn't take much for me to form an addiction so I guess exercise is better than drugs, yanno?

You wanna laugh.... how about THIS. I had a dream.. yanno.. one of "those" dreams. In the dream was my own doctor (pcp.. not T) and Hugh Laurie. Sounds like it was a wild one.. doesn't it? And it WAS.. except I WAS THE EXTREMELY LARGE BARTENDER in the dream... Now that's bad..... not even in my own dreams can I um.... yanno. Talk about depressing.... it doesn't even leave me alone when I'm sleeping.

L