Hey Mouse,

Your musings must be what T talked about when he said that separations were an opportunity. It sounds as if you made a lot of connections.

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I had kidnapped the mother from that family and made her mind

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I did this with my friend's mother. I used to fantasize that she was my mom too, with her pretty dresses and sensible shoes and making lunches and just always always being there.

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So its finding that happy balance of, missing T and living creatively!

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T said I had to allow myself to miss him, so I guess you are doing that too.

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how even a new born baby needs to be left to lie still at times.

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You know, when I had my first child I questioned my decisions because of my own issues (of which I was unaware at the time). He was a bit colicky and every evening struggled, crying, gassy, etc. I did everything I could think of, holding him, patting him, rubbing him, etc. and everything I read in the parenting books I bought by the dozens. But finally I realized that if I swaddled him and left him in his crib he would settle into a deep sleep in about 15 minutes. He did cry but he needed to expend the energy that was stuck in his body I think.