Hi Candika, I will explain what I learned in hindsight. We don't feel safe because our environment was never safe. We were hurt emotionally or physically or our environment was just not stable or there was never anyone really in charge. If you grow up in an environment like this, it is all you know. There is never any luxury of security.

I have found safety now. I had to purge from my mind all of my emotional insecurity from my past (work through all of those feelings that still lingered). Most of us now live in secure environments. We don't feel safe because of our memories from the past. While you are purging the past you need to build security today.

What I did was build secure personal boundaries so that I can protect myself emotionally. I empowered myself so that I feel strong now and I can take charge of me and not allow others to have power over me (no more feeling small and weak and powerless).

When I wasn't feeling safe (as an adult who was really safe) I would shake and tremble. It was a strong emotional reaction. When I would do this I would tell myself that I am safe. The environment that I am in is just triggering feelings from my past. (My triggers were letting people get close). My trembling would lessen and lessen each time until it disappeared. It was basically just retraining my nervous system the way that I see it.,