i am really fighting with myself right now with my eating problems..... i have not been able to eat more than 600 calories a day for the last week anytime i eat more than 600 calories i end up purging ..... i strongly believe that i don't deserve to eat and even though people are telling me otherwise i can't seem to accept it .....i have lost 7 lbs in about a week and i know that isn't healthy but i don't seem to care it makes me happy because i want to disappear and loosing 7lbs means i am a tiny bit closer to disappearing...... there is a small part of me that wants to fight this and be healthy for the people i love..... but i feel like i am losing and i feel like i am sinking in the bottom of the ocean kind of ....... every attempt i have taken at eating healthy has failed ..... i don't know what to do......
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i was diagnosed with DID 4 years ago although sometimes i deny this disorder.
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