(((((((((( daffyok202 )))))))))))))))

I'm sorry for what you are dealing with right now...and for your losses. It makes perfect sense to me that you would be combining the two losses and feeling it all as one huge emotion.

My suggestion first and foremost would be to find a grief support group to attend. IMHO, this type of support group would help you in a number of ways. First to support you and help you to know that you are not alone in your grief. They can relate to what you are feeling as they have been there too. I think in learning that it's ok to grieve, it's ok to have the feelings you are having, you may then be able to find some separation of those feelings.....some for your father and some for your ex. Possibly from there you will have more insight and can then tackle the pain and know what you are working on specifically.

It's important to stop the vicious cycle at some point...almost any point in order to grab onto one thing and work on it. As you go through the process of working on that one thing, you can then move on to the next thing and then the next thing...etc etc.

There are grief counselors out there as well as groups you can attend. Some churches hold them and some mental health clinics hold them as well.

It's hard to grab hold of everything that is flying around in circles. Everything is so confusing and scary too at times I'll bet. Just remember that grief is not something you can time. It's not something you can say, well in 3 months I'll be over it and moving on with my life. Everyone grieves at different levels in different times and in different ways.

I do hope you find some relief soon and can begin to make the separation and start your healing. Wishing you well and keeping you in my thoughts.


sabby