...and I didn't know that until our session today-- which is our last session because he is leaving tomorrow.

There was definitely a neglect of processing, some of it on my part, and some of it on his.

I just wrote him an email about that. He said that during his vacation, he will be checking emails and returning calls, just not as frequently as he normally would.

I am so sad right now. I did ask him for a note. It says:

Pink,
I am coming back from my trip on Sept. 2nd. I am not leaving forever. I hope that this letter makes my absence easier for you. I will see you on the 3rd of September at 10:30. Get on the bus.
--T

(If you recall, I wrote a post about needing T to "put me on the bus" for my first day of doctoral school, which is next Tuesday).

Ugh. I am crying, half because T is gone for two weeks and it is somewhat of a shock to me, and half because I bought the book "The Noonday Demon" by Andrew Solomon, and I have never read such a close-to-home, unbelievable, honest, passionate, beautiful, painful description of depression. And I am only up to page 27.

I knew he was going away. It is just that it wasn't until our session today that I found out about his return date.

I wrote him a long email tonight, telling him all of my feelings about this. He mentioned something in session about his casual reactions, perhaps being a part of his own "coping mechanism" because he knew how hard it would be. I appreciate his honesty, emotional reciprocation, and sensitivity to my feelings-- but I wish that it had been gone about differently, so that I could have more effectively processed his absence before it happened-- in the past it was always handled differently.

I really miss him already.