(Last installment for this one)

DEFINING TERMS

Defining terms can be a helpful strategy when you are using negative labels to describe yourself, someone else or a situation.

Remember how you felt when you were a child and someone called you a name? You may have felt sad and may have sensed the injustice. Names like "jerk," "idiot," "loser," etc. are not only destructive to us and others emotionally, but they are almost always grossly inaccurate.

Try defining what you mean by using the term "loser." Does this mean someone who makes mistakes more than 50% of the time? Does it mean that one tries but fails at something more than once?

Consider the failure record of Abraham Lincoln: He failed in business in 1831. Defeated for Legislatuare in 1832. Business failed again in 1833. Suffered nervous breakdown in 1836. Deafeated for Speaker in 1838. Defeated for Elector in 1840. Defeated for Congress in 1843. Defeated for Congress in 1848. Defeated for Senate in 1855. Defeated for Vice President in 1856. Defeated for Senate in 1858. Elected President in 1860. Would you have called him a failure in 1859? Would that be an accurate description of this man?

Human beings can best be seen as a complex mix of strengths and weaknesses, hopes and dreams, failures and triumphs.

What is a negative label you sometimes give yourself?

How do you feel when you do that?

Can you define what that label means?

Considering all the facts, what would be a more accurate description of yourself?

Perhaps our mistakes should best be considered as learning opportunities. Instead of calling yourself or somebody else names, think of what you can draw from the experience and plan how you will deal with a similar situation next time.