Earth,
Hey! I'm glad that you worked things out with your T I did the same thing, sent angry emails to T and then felt guilty about it. I went through "negative" transference and the emails got worse. I now think, "Who wrote those? It couldn't have been me!" T was hurt and angry about these

He told me, "You thought I was a @#$@#$@#$ during that time." I told him that, as hard as it is to believe, that I didn't think that. I was so angry because I kept feeling rejected
by him and it hurt massively. This caused my anger to intensify and to be directed at him. Yes, the anger was out of proportion to the situation so I suspect that it was the result of feeling rejected by an attachment figure a long time ago. It's hard to explain to someone else when you are saying horrible things about them that you just want them to be there for you forever, to not leave.

I spent about three months in the negative transference mode with T. It was sooo difficult. I know what you are going through and want you to know that it does get better!

Take care.