Okay so today was my first thearpy session...it was nerve wracking and educational. I'll start from the begining since it just adds to the fun of the story.

So I wake up at 10:25 this morning in complete horror that my alarm didn't go off like it was supposed to so I run around like a crazy lady, grabbed my make up bag because I had to take a picture for my student id later and high tailed it out of the house, fyi the thearpist office is a thrity minute drive. Needless to say I was incredibly lucky I didn't run into any police officers along the way because I was breaking the speed limit like it probably has never been broke before. I had to park a good distance away and ran the whole way to the office and busted through her door panting and sweating. LOL I was absolutley terrfyied but I couldn't help but giggle at the way the morning had went, I think it was a subconcious plot to get out of thearpy.

I really like my T she is really nice and understanding, She gave me time to catch my breathe before we started on paperwork. It was only my first session and I already have homework from my T, I'm supposed to journal about three emotions I fell that is connected to my unexpressed grief, she gave me a worksheet that has emotions on it and it kinda of looks like a coloring sheet, which makes me want to color it, and she says when I feel more comfterble she would like to see my exsiting journal along with my assigned journaling, which makes me weary because I didn't bring up my si or alcohol issues up at all...and my journal makes big loud statements about that...

OH and she wants me to get started on some meds for my deppression and anxiety, which means I have to find time to schedule a doctor appointment, no matter how good looking my doctor is I still hate having to go to the doctor....

I see her again next week I think on wensday at 10 in the morning...still nervous but I really like her and I think this is going to work...
Just wanted to let you all know and update everyone.
I do feel good though, I kinda of feel like this big pressure has kinda of been lifted off my shoulders...