</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Brian37 said:
its been over 2 months since my therapist terminated me....I was planning on seeing another therapist, but havent had much time to
find a good one yet

anyway, I struggled for a long time with the erotic transference, because she was female....and I think thats the major reason she
decided to end our therapy

the last month I pretty much forgot about her and was doing well, then I had this friggin bizarre dream about her and now I cant get her out of my head....Im constantly thinking about her and daydreaming

I still have her cell phone #, but I am terrified to call her and even if I did call her...what the hell do I say?........Im still in love with you?

ugh.......im embarrassed to even post this.....but im afraid if I dont do anything I might end up doing something I will regret

help!

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Hi Brian.That's difficult, because infatuation can feel like love if you don't know the difference.

I'd say in your case it's infatuation that may or may not be transference related. I'm not completely convinced it's erotic transference, but either way though, infatuation is really different from love.

I'd IXNAY on the calling her, as that will inevitably lead to more heartache on your part. The best way I would say to handle this I would think, is to find a male therapist you can go to and discuss everything with him, including the reasons that you went to therapy in the first place.

A male therapist will not only prevent something like that from happening again (if it's transference), and will also be easier to talk to about your feelings that might have made your old female therapist uncomfortable to talk about. Do you have a friend you can call who is understanding to ward of the impulsive feelings until you can get an appointment?