Earlier in therapy this week, I was telling T about the first time we met, lol. You know, rehashing our history. (It is great to have a history together! )

So I say to him, it was so random that I walked through your door. What do you mean? Didn't M put us in touch? No. It was my sister, and she knows R, and was telling R all her sister's problems one day over lunch, and R said your sister has to go see this T. He will help her. So my sister got your phone number from R and passed it on to me. I didn't call. A couple of weeks later, my sister said, have you called this T? No. So I finally called you and left a message. And you never called back.

T is looking kind of embarrassed and chagrinned. I didn't? he asks, surprised. No, you didn't. (He doesn't know he is the world's worst T about returning phone calls? How can he not know this about himself?) I am kind of enjoying making him feel bad, lol. I am really sorry about that, he says. I laugh. So what happened? he asks. A couple of weeks later my sister again asked me, did you call this guy, and I said yes, but he never called back. My sister said, you have to call him again. You need to say that you got his name from R--she knows him really well. If you "name drop" R's name, maybe he will call you back. So I called back and dropped R's name in my message. And you called back the next day! So I had to name drop to get you to call, I say. That's what I mean, it was so random that I heard about you and so lucky my sister kept bugging me and I kept going until you called back. Ha ha.

He really liked the "random" part.

Then I tell him, I am so lucky to have found you. Pause. You have saved my life. Pause. I mean it. He is just silent and is so moved. The feelings bounce back and forth between us. He is not scared to hold strong emotion and sit with it. He taught me that. We don't need to say anything, but just keep looking at each other and feeling it. He makes a hugging motion with his arms, like he is hugging me even though we are sitting across from each other several feet apart. I feel it. He says at last, thank you.