((((EM)))
Sorry to hear about your rupture. I think your observation of how the more intense and deep that connection gets the more painful and difficult the rupture feels.

You already know a lot about what happened in my most recent rupture with my T... since you PM'ed me through it. BTW, your correspondence and voice of reason was very helpful to me then. Please feel free to PM me if you need a sounding board.

Now that I am not in the grip of the previous rupture, what helped me the most was me challenging all the negative crap my ...left brain/ego/freaky inner child... whatever you want to call the part of your mind that constantly plays the continuous fear and drama loop. The whole time I was freaking out and getting myself worked up... I could hear another voice in my head quietly challenging this paranoid chatter. When I started to focus my attention on this other voice I found that I was able to take a leap of faith and at least try to resolve the issue between my T and I. Luckily, my T met my effort to repair the miscommunication with an effort of her own. I think we both learned a lot about each other in the process. I think what I gained most was the ability to put what others might think of me temporarily aside, and do something strictly for my own benefit. Another thing I learned is that I have the ability to be really upset with someone but not disconnect. I have the ability to hang in there, feel angry/fearful/embarrassed, but still be open-minded enough to work through the rupture. I think the fact that my T was working hard to bridge the gap REALLY helped too.

I think your T is working hard to bridge the gap too. I think my T's acknowledgment that ..."none of us ever really knows what the f(*& we are doing" is important to remember. All we can do is try our best to be as compassionate and open with one another as possible. Things tend to work out when we can get ourselves to assume that the other person is trying just as hard as we are to bridge the gap..