Sweet Angela,

This had to take every bit of courage you could muster to post and I am so proud of you for sharing this with us.

First, have you shared this with your T? If you haven't please print it out and take it to him/her. You needn't even say a word, just hand it over. It takes a lot of courage, but I know you can take it.

My life was filled with guns, shootings, beatings, screaming, denegration and all the torments of hell itself. Although I haven't been in your exact position, I do know the chaos and pain living in madness can bring.

At any rate, due to other reasons, I went for three years without speaking to my mother. Even now "I love you." sticks in my throat threatening to gag me.

The bad relationship took time to create. It will not heal over night, but you will heal, whether you need to walk off forever, or try to patch the relationship. Which ever you do, is ok, and you must take care of yourself first. Do it always.

Children of abuse so often try to take care of everyone and anything else hoping to keep down discord. We forget to take care of ourselves.

Please take very good care of you.

January