Recovery is important. If you don't mind me asking, are you in high school, college? Because if you have someone at the school that you could run too in a time of need (and i am not talking about another student) maybe the pattern will slow. I see b/p as a comfort ritual, but thats my own cycle. my "special buddy" is my husbend and he has been really great when I feel that perticular urge comming on. He is someone that i can eat with, he makes sure that its enough that I am getting the right things, so that i don't feel the need to purge later. He can't be around all the time, I'm not sure anyone can. But hes a rock I can hold on to when rock water hits. Sorry about the bad pun ;p but keep your head up you'll do alright. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?