thanks sunrise. You have such a good way of putting things. It is possible that he is trying to extinguish a behavior, but I think you're right that he should tell me if that is what he is doing.

And I also like how you said that he "deserves a chance to hear my concerns and address them." I never thought about it that way. I do believe that he truly wants to help me so it is only right to give him that chance to address my concerns.

This has been hard - I am literally scared of myself so much of the time because I never know what crazy impulse will come over me next and if I will be able to control it. I feel like I am dealing with it all alone....like no one else wants to hear about it, even my T.