HI,

I've only gone as high as 1 1/2 to get to sleep several times. I am very concerned about losing the ability to handle my meds correctly and getting addicted because I've been there and done that and it stinks.

I would recommend finding a way to pull back on the Ambien and use different things like trazadone, benadryl, melatonin, to alternate on different nights and or in different combinations to avoid over-use of Ambien. You are at dangerously high amounts especially if you take any other medication. Ambien was one of several things Heath Ledger was taking when he accidentally overdosed. I've made some horrible moves when I was in a bad depression, my issues were untreated and I literally "survived" that time by the grace of God alone, I sometimes think. I took too many pain pills and drove every day. I got pain shots sometimes and took regular psych meds on top and was almost unconscious with the amount of drugs in my system. I almost choked to death a couple times because I was so drugged I couldn't swallow. I really could have killed myself exactly like Mr. Ledger - minus the Hollywood fame I'm only writing this to express my concern for you, I don't get a thrill from revealing how stupidly I behaved during that time period. I've been in recovery for 5 years and life is better now even when it is hard than when I was so messed up in my head. I wish you better than that and smarter than me!!!!

Leslieann getting off the-->