Bittersweet,

Right now your stress levels are high and your biochemistry is wonky. This makes everything that is wrong seem like catastrophe.

Is there anyone you can trust to help you look at your life in a balanced way? Do you have a therapist or a friend? Sometimes we need someone to help us interpret our ife and see what is real.

I do not have Bipolar issues (I've got DID - its no fun either) but I've read that it does distort perceptions of reality when your chemicals are out of whack.

I'm truly sorry your marriage is another painful place, sadly, my marriage is much like you describe yours - my spouse is workaholic and churchaholic and very detached from our marriage and me. He believs dissociation doesn't exist as a problem...

I do think you are going to feel much better soon and will be able to carry on without feeling so down and overwhelmed.

Hang in there!

Leslie and the Pixies