Hey overtheedge;

Welcome to the group, I don't know how to over come your what if problem, I have that same problems of what if, could have and should haves. Family and friends are a good place to start as well as a therapist to help you through some of your emotions. Some our what if and so on, started with my parents because that was the way they were, so maybe that is why it runs your life as well. One thing my counselor tells me is when it creeps in, try to think of something good, and everytime it creeps back in, turn your mind around again. You may need to be on different meds and stay on them to help you better.

Good luck