(((((Dearest Freewill))))

My Dearest Friend----I am sorry I have not written you in a long while. I have been dealing with a lot of what you just wrote about. I do know the feelings. I do know the expectations. I do know that innocence that people put on you that really isn't there at all. I do know how you feel it is not worth it and you will never make it. I know the feeling of falling down down into that darkness where there is no one no matter how many people may seem to be here at the top. I now the feeling of reaching for people here at the top but it is like reaching through them and not to them.

It is scary. Scary as hell. And as you hold on so you can try to come out and awake the next morning and still be alive, and still be who you are. And you just wish that those around you would accept you for who you are and what you are and what happened to you. There is no way we can make these things up in our heads. It would be so much easier if we were lying because then there would be an answer that they could solve. I know that feeling. I have tried to make it go away to a lie or a story but it doesn't.

I understand dear, and I validate everything you said. The innocence we carry as we never learned we just performed. There never was a time of teaching just doing. I know what you are saying. I believe you. I question nothing you say. Hon, hold on to me. Walk with me. I won't let go. I won't let you fall any deeper. I won't tell you it is not going to be tough--but together we can do this--just hold on.

Love you--darkpurplesecrets