Thanks very much for your replies and all the helpful suggestions.

Since my original message was already so long, I may have left out some relevant information. I'll see if I can do that now.

I was diagnosed and treated for hypothyroidism during a psychiatric hospitalization, so my psychiatric is fully aware that it was at least a contributing factor to my depression. The Eltroxin was changed to Synthroid by my family doctor, but my free T3 level remained low despite an acceptable free T4 level. Armed with internet articles from experts in endocrinology on the advantages of a combination T4/T3 medication, my medication was changed once again, and both levels are now within the normal range. My thyroid levels now get checked every 2 months. Ironically, I had asked to have my thyroid levels checked by my family doctor months before I was diagnosed (partly because I was feeling so cold all the time and had many other classic hypothyroid symptoms), but was told everything was okay. Apparently our thyroid levels can fluctuate from day to day.

The neurological problems I experienced between 2002 and 2004 prevented me from continuing my career in IT. The stroke-like symptoms included ataxia (which often made it impossible for me to walk without holding onto walls or furniture), one-sided drooping of my face and eyelid, along with slurred speech. The worst part was the cognitive problems that prevented me from being able to read or remember what I had just done. It was no longer safe for me to commute to work and I was unable to continue my work as an IT consultant. I have only recently regained the ability to actually read a book.

Neuropsychological testing revealed that, despite a high IQ, some of my previous cognitive functioning may never return and that I would have trouble learning anything new, partly due to an inability to concentrate. It was recommended that I see a health psychologist to help me adapt to my disability, but I didn't want to "adapt" -- I wanted to recover! I recently read the book "My Stroke of Insight" by a Harvard-trained brain scientist who suffered a massive stroke. It took her eight years to completely recover and it is one of the most inspiring books I have ever read. She was able to return to work eventually and that is my hope as well. My husband isn't that optimistic as I still have trouble following a recipe and even remembering that I saw a movie or read a book. The upside is that it doesn't take much to entertain me as everything almost everything I do seems new to me.

I also left out some other health challenges I have faced in the past few years. Despite assurances from my family doctor that perimenopause was the only cause for a variety of new symptoms (I'll spare you the details), I knew something was wrong. Being slim all my life (partly from exercise that I use as a natural antidepressant to raise endorphin and serotonin levels), and with no change in my diet, I gained 20 pounds in two months (most of it fluid). With all the risk factors and possible early warning signs of ovarian cancer, I finally insisted on a gynecological consult. In Toronto, you need to be referred to a specialist by your family doctor. After waiting for months, I saw a wonderful gynecologist who did a biopsy which revealed a precancerous endometrial condition. A growing ovarian cyst and fluid in my abdomen weren't encouraging signs, but the surgery was successful and I am cancer-free.

ECT and Parnate were both used only because nothing else was working. I spent many years in psychotherapy addressing psychological issues that may have contributed to depression. While hospitalized for depression, I have had consultations by experts in mood disorders and even one psychoanalyst saw me without reading my chart or knowing my diagnosis.

My brain is actually tired from working so hard, so I'm going to give it a break. I'll post again when I can remember more.

rliz