Xylia, thanks. Your post made me stop. I think that i have so much work to do so much to fix in the world and what u said wasnt what I was expecting, your right I was a kid and all the stuff my mom did to me makes me feel like if i close my eyes for a second the world will fall apart. i have always felt resonisiable for everyone and everything. My therapists tell me I was a kid but when a stranger tells u it makes u think. I always believe that if only I did this then this wouldnt have happend. I told my t that it makes it lss scary to feel like u had something to do with it because why would your mom want to kill u for no one real reason??? I need to memorize your post. Thanks