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jinnyann said:
... why do i even cling onto the fact one day they might change. Yes i have broken that awful chain of neglect, but it still makes me feel %#@&#! the fact my own parents dont love me. how can i love myself if they never loved me, how can i expect anyone else to love me if i dont love myself ....

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I get this. It's so painful, Jinny, and it IS hard to know how we will ever feel better. I have hope that by going to therapy, and putting one foot in front of the other, and moving through the day one moment at a time, and working to heal, that someday the pain will lessen and will just be a *part* of my life, and not the defining factor in my life.

It's hard here at the beginning. But we will get there.

(((((((((((((((((((((((( jinny )))))))))))))))))))) Hang in there - we'll make it.