It is days like today that we are finding it very hard to keep from hurting or cutting. We feel useless and dirty----and very bad. The system has let us down. I am having trouble looking at anyone or speaking to anyone. I want to just slip off somewhere where no one will notice that I am gone, where no one will notice I have left the room. Where no one will care.

It would not take much as no one even thinks to check here for my posting so they do not know how I feel nor would they care. I am not tht important to think about. Days come and go and I seem to slip in and out, some days noticed some days not. I just need to relieve the pain for the moment. I know the pain will come back but for the moment I can feel it seep out, and feel it as though it escapes through my body. For once I can cleanse myself of the evilness I carry.

Sometimes I wonder where am I. This is one such moment--I am scared as are the insides. As we fight this battle inside and out for what we know to be right. Who will win? We have won for so long now--but we have not been hurt in a while. It is all our fault.

dps and insides