Is it normal to make a little progress with ptsd and then to slip backwards?

At first, I was terrified about telling any of these secrets. I think I wanted help with all of this but didn't want to reveal the fact that I needed help. I got through it. Posted some. Deleted some. Wish I'd just go ahead now and delete all of them because I still feel like a creep revealing the inner workings of a warrior's mind. A feeling that I'm somehow being disloyal. (illogical).

Telling these things and about childhood sexual abuse brought about some changes. It felt good that someone else finally knew about all of these things. The secret is out. And it felt good to find that I'm not alone, that others care, that others understand.

But the ptsd thing of overreacting caused me to jump out of here and try to go it alone - and that didn't work out very well. I was back in a while, just about as desperate as I was when I first found survivor sites and PC.

I find that the support is here. People care. But the ptsd cynic in me makes me feel (not think, just feel) like the care is phony, that the people don't really care, they're just trying to make me feel better.

And I find myself doing those things that brought me here in the first place, making excuses to myself that "it's normal" to do these things. Starting to slide down hill again. Feeling like I really don't belong here.

I could describe the feelings in more detail, but I think if you're here, you already know the feelings I'm talking about. Maybe I should just go away.

i am sorry

T.