As strange as the subject of this post seems, and yes I realize the Joker I think said that to Batman at one point. But it kinda sums up some of the odd and strange thoughts that have been flying in my head and how my mood has been.

Had to go to the bank today, and bingo when walking up to the teller I could feel a panic attack starting. She looked at me a little strange, and I explained, cause I was breathing as if I had just ran a marathon or something and my chest and gut were tightening up. I knew it was going to be a bad one. She said deep breaths, and about all I could reply was, if I breath any deeper I'll pass out right here.

Anyways, was able to get out side in the air, and popped an anti-anxiety pill, which I have learned now to always have on me just in case. Sat on the sidewalk for a bit while it was taking effect, looking more or less like a homeless person or a begger, backpack between my knees and my head on that trying to regain some control.

After that things were a little surreal I guess, I had walked to the bank, so I decided to walk to the park and find a tree to sit under. Rounded a corner, to come face to face with 2 women beating the hell out of some guy. This didn't help any at all, didn't know if I should have jumped in and help the guy out and try to break it up or run the other way. Decided to walk the other way, cause in my panic attacks, meds were not fully in effect yet either, I'm in that flight or fight mode, it would not have been good.

Any ways before I realized it , I had walked 5+ miles, I was hurting all over extremely tired. But still everything seemed surreal, very odd feeling. I felt like I wanted to either cry or just laugh at the sad state of affairs I'm in.

Would not wish this on my worst enemy,