Ktgal and Simcha, LOL!!

Well the worse thing I could have done was email T, I was doing well until then and now with no reply I feel awful. All sorts of reasons why she hasn't replied are going through my mind. Its not that she isn't not returning my email because shes on holiday because once before she said it was fine to email her when shes on holiday and I said, but your not at home? (why I made that suuuuupid statement I dunno) and off course she said, I've internet access anywhere.

I asked myself why am I making myself feel rejected and abandoned over this? I was doing fine, why does this have to change that? Then I got a picture of a child letting go of the furniture for the first time and realising they can walk unaided, and its like that with this issue, I can continue to be fine or I can sit and feel rejected and abandoned and make everying about about this email? I guess when T said once that I need to experience her in certain ways so I can resolve the memory, perhaps I'm torturing myself with the getting no reply because I'm trying to fix the old memorys of the times I was once abadoned/rejected. Oh well I will meditate on letting go this one issue around the email when on all other areas of my life I've really managed well this summer break.

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL.