I was trying to read this whole thread before I replied, but I'm going to forget everything I wanted to say if i do...so I'm on page 7, probably going to forget most of it anyway.

First of all, when I read this post, I didn't laugh. My eyes widened and I was sucked in, thinking to myself, "finally, someone is pointing out what is wrong with the forums." I saw so much truth in every word. I have been one of those people who have taken "breaks" from the forum. At one point I swore I would never return, and I PM'd those I had made a connection with that I didn't want to loose contact with.

I don't post all that often. I mostly reply to posts that touch me, or to posts that I have an opinion about. I go to chat a lot. I read distractions because that's what I need half the time.

I found the forums when I was having serious relationship issues and needed help. I fell in love with how caring everyone was. When I first posted, I didn't get many replies, so I posted again, started hanging out in chat. But....I haven't really been able to get into my serious issues. I haven't been able to address the real reasons I came. And the reason why is all in that list.

There were times when I would try to talk about my issues in chat, or in a post, and it always became about someone else. Someone else with more serious problems came along and I was left in mid conversation, mid thread, etc. So I finally gave up. There have been some people that I've talked with outside the forums, and gotten more deep into my problems, but I still hang back, even with them, because I feel like my issues don't matter. Why?

Because I don't take meds, and I'm not in therapy (yet, haven't had good insurance). At first this put me off. I felt like, when you go to get help from the government, and they tell you to quit your job because you make too much money and then they'll help. I was pretty damn proud of myself from dealing as much as I had on my own, because I had too.

But this all taught me a lesson: I can't rely on help from others. No one is in my shoes but me, so if I"m trying to talk about problems that no one can relate to, of course I'm not going to get help. I'll get hugs (which are always welcome) but I may not get advice because not many others have been through what I have. I learned that I am my own person, that only I can help Me, and that, above all, has helped the most.

I know come to the forums to read and reply to things I relate to, to share funny stories, to chat.....all with others who are hurting in some way or another. I received the help I needed by realizing I didn't need to seek attention for my problems. I realized that to turn to myself was the best thing I could do. But I couldn't have realized this, couldn't have come this far, without meeting all of you, without reading threads like this.

And though I was close to seeing all of what I just wrote, it just became even clearer as I wrote this. I wasn't expecting these words to pile out. That is the beauty of the forums, the ablitiy to sit back and let realizations hit you, to receieve help you weren't expecting.

Haha, long story short, the original post was eye-opening and so true, and so thought provoking. And it made me want to reach out and express something positive, because the list just is an outline of what goes on on these forums, and I think it can be very positive if you allow it to be. I'd like to refer to the mirror, because I looked into it, and I am better for it, I looked into it even before the list was written.

My advice, read it again. Really apply it to yourself. No, not every number will apply to you, but some will. And those few that do, analyze why they do and fix it. I that months ago. Now I only whine about the little things =).

Ok, so I forgot all the things I was going to address, but I feel like what I wrote is what I feel. I am not in anyway hijacking, even though it is long. I just wanted to offer what has helped me so much.

Love you all!

Rayna