Purplebutterfly,
All of us question ourselves as to whether we're good parents, lovers, etc. Please give yourself a break, don't be so hard on yourself - easier said than done, I know. When one part of our lives stink, it seems like it affects all the other parts and it seems like we're sinking even more. I say "seems" because so many factors play a role... like our surroundings, how tired we are, the people in our lives and how they are doing, how we feel about ourselves and others - those are just a few. If you weren't a good parent, you wouldn't be questioning your parenting abilities. The kind of parents that don't give a rip about their kids never question their abilities, they're too self-centered to really care about their kids.
It's so clear that you do care! You've even said so in prior posts. You care about being a good lover, you care about the things you listed - otherwise you wouldn't be thinking about them - you would have just checked them off and tossed them out with the garbage, BUT you didn't.
You sound tired and worn out. Please do your best to take care of YOU first. The rest will fall into place. Take it one hour at a time if need be and take care of yourself.
Many, many hugs,
Einna