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pachyderm said:
Hard to accept that some of the people that we hated in fact were just frightened and unable to cope with their lives, and that is why they treated us the way they did. It happens. Doesn't help to know that sometimes, doesn't make it easier to accept. Or does it?

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I think that it makes it easier to accept and to forgive.....
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pachyderm said:
"Mental illness" is caused by thought censorship, not by "chemical imbalances in the brain". Chemical imbalances or something along those lines may arise and get established and maintained because of the original and continuing suppression of thoughts and feelings, which are themselves natural and completely without "value". "Value" is only assigned later by society, parents, whatever (and gets internalized). In this and other ways the system can get overwhelmed by contradictory demands. .

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I agree!

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pachyderm said:
refine my ideas on what causes mental illness!

It can be due either to conflict with parents who try to enforce thought control, or by events such as physical/sexual abuse,

either of which overwhelms a system which is required to attempt to cope with contradictory demands: the need to express and recognize one's own thoughts and feelings, and the need to gain approval of, and believe in the goodness of, caretakers.

so terrifying that the young person's system cannot bear it without splitting or having other maladaptive adjustments to the stress.

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Agree again!