(((((((((((((((BBear))))))))))))))
I, too, am glad she just happened to be there. we were both totally shocked. She knows that it would take an extreme act to even get me in there, so she thought i was a mirage for a while. I was in "the zone" she said - survival mode... I almost didn't see her across the room from me. But it was an easy relation to slip in to since we both share the same history and both want to run for our lives. Her being there and the easy chat kept me more out of my head for the 40+ min wait. She could see that I was still a nervous wreck but a different alter kicks in in that circumstance.
***and*** hanging with her afterward ensured that I couldn't switch into the destructive alter who cuts.
Today, MD did ask if I cut, but thankfully hasn't looked at them the past two times. And they weren't seen for the blood pressure *today*. Yesterday they were (growl) but thankfully no one said anything about them.

I really didn't feel anything remote to brave - the osteopath said the same thing to me today - i was totally scared beyond my mind yesterday and actually thought I'd black out. I know we would have cut had my co-worker not miracoulsy been there. We had lunch after my apnt. And we were soooooooooooo close to cutting the trunk of the body last night (instead of arms) because we'd felt the body betrayed us. But somehow we got through.
Thank you for the support!!!